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La Jolla Senior Care News

Difficult Elderly Care Issues: Helping a Senior with Alzheimer’s Cope with Grief


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Elderly Care La Costa CA

Grief is one of the most difficult emotions that you can face at any point in life, but when you are on an elderly care journey with a senior who has Alzheimer’s disease, the situation can be even more stressful. Alzheimer’s disease can make it so that a senior does not recognize a person on one day, but then ask for him the next. He may remember one moment that a person who he loves has died, but then a few minutes later ask for him because he no longer remembers. While you are coping with your own emotions related to grief, it is important that you are also there for a senior who is dealing with the grief in a more distant and difficult to interpret way through the lens of Alzheimer’s disease or another form of dementia.

Use these tips to help you guide a senior with Alzheimer’s disease through the stages of grief after the death of a loved one:

  • Prepare him. Though a senior in moderate to advanced stages of Alzheimer’s disease may not seem to understand what you are saying, take the time to discuss the impending death with your loved one. Be clear about who you are discussing by using labels. Saying something like, “Dad, your wife Eleanor is going to die soon” can help him to make connections and trigger memories that allow him to remember, at least for the time, who his wife is. This preparation is a chance for him to work through his own emotions and for him to spend time with the person if possible, which can be meaningful for everyone involved.
  • Be honest. Once the death has occurred, be honest with the senior with Alzheimer’s disease. Tell him clearly and openly that his loved one has died. If he wants to know, tell him about any final arrangements that you have made. This can speak to something within him that he may not be able to express fully himself, but that will give him comfort.
  • Prepare for repetition. Accept that your senior will likely forget many times that his loved one has died, and may continuously ask about that person, especially if it was a spouse, child, or other person who he spent a considerable amount of time with. Prepare yourself to explain the death to him several times, and to guide him through the emotions that he feels with each revelation. It is very possible that your loved one will react differently each time you discuss the death, but these are his emotions so you must respect them and help him through them in whatever way you can.
  • Be gentle. There may come a time when you have explained the death so many times that you feel that it would be cruel to continue to do it. If your senior reacts strongly to each time you tell him of the death or does not seem to be moving forward, choose times to be gentle by not directly telling him. Instead, tell him something such as “She could not be here right now, but I am here with you” or “You will see her soon” to offer comfort.
  • Take care of yourself. You cannot be the quality caregiver that your senior deserves if you do not take care of yourself. Hire a respite care services provider to sit with your parent for a while so that you can take a shower, sleep for a while, handle final arrangements, or just do something fun so that you can come back refreshed and better able to continue to care for him.

La Jolla Nurses Homecare can help your aging parents remain in their own homes, call 858-454-9339. We are a home care agency providing quality and affordable senior care in La Costa, CA, and the surrounding communities."]” data-sheets-userformat=”[null,null,767,[null,0],[null,2,10667209],[null,[[null,2,0,null,null,[null,2,0]],[null,0,0,3],[null,1,0,null,1]]],[null,[[null,2,0,null,null,[null,2,0]],[null,0,0,3],[null,1,0,null,1]]],[null,[[null,2,0,null,null,[null,2,0]],[null,0,0,3],[null,1,0,null,1]]],[null,[[null,2,0,null,null,[null,2,0]],[null,0,0,3],[null,1,0,null,1]]],2,2,null,0]”>For more information about how the caregivers at La Jolla Nurses Homecare can help your aging parents remain in their own homes, call 858-454-9339. We are a home care agency providing quality and affordable elder care in La Costa, CA, and the surrounding communities.

Brittnei Salerno

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