Battling with your elderly loved one for control is not a fun aspect of caregiving. If that’s happening for you and your loved one, it’s important to find a solution sooner rather than later.
See it from Her Point of View
From your loved one’s point of view, you and other family members, doctors, and other people may have suddenly started making all sorts of changes to her life. Maybe she had to move into your home, even. All of these changes can look very upsetting from your loved one’s vantage point. She may feel that she has no say in anything that’s happening and her privacy, independence, and personal power are all disappearing before her very eyes.
Are You Overstepping?
From your point of view, you’re helping. And you’re probably doing exactly what you need to do for your elderly loved one, but are you adding a little extra help in? Sometimes, in the interest of helping elderly loved ones, caregivers can actually do too much for their loved ones. Even if you’re faster at doing something for her or you can do it with less mess, that doesn’t mean that your loved one shouldn’t still do some things if she’s able and willing.
Find Ways to Give Back Some Control
Start looking for ways to give your loved one back some control in her life. Try asking her for her opinion more often rather than telling her what is going to happen. Whenever you can, give her a choice, even if it’s only between two options. You don’t want to overwhelm your loved one, but giving her back some control can help her to feel that she doesn’t have to fight for it.
Bring in Some Extra Help
You might also find that your loved one’s controlling behavior stems from the fact that you’re having to help her. She may see it as a blow to her own self-esteem that someone she probably helped to raise is now having to take care of her. Bringing in outside help, such as home care providers, who don’t have that history with her, can help quite a bit.
Your own responses to your loved one’s controlling behavior can be helpful or make the situation worse. Do what you can to help her still feel that she has some say in her own life.
For more information about how the caregivers at La Jolla Nurses Homecare can help your aging parents remain in their own homes, call 858-454-9339. We are a home care agency providing quality and affordable home care in La Jolla, CA, and the surrounding communities.