When you help your dad with things around their home, you hope he’ll be considerate of your other personal and work obligations. If he’s pushy, it adds to the stress you experience. Here are the best ways to handle a pushy parent’s demands with your job.
Enroll your dad in a medical alert system. If he falls, becomes ill, or has an emergency, he can push the button and talk to a professional. That professional will call police, fire, or ambulance if it’s needed. If it’s not an emergency, the closest emergency contact gets notified.
Make it clear that without your job, you couldn’t afford food, clothes, a car, the house, etc. Set boundaries, and make sure you’re firm. If you let your parent win over your job once, you’ve opened the door for future demands while you’re trying to work.
When you’re at work, don’t take calls from your dad. Let any calls that come from him go straight to voicemail. You can check them on a break.
Set aside a certain time of day, such as after dinner, or one day a week where your parent gets your undivided attention. Do as much as you can on that day. Go through a to-do list that you create together. If you need to enlist other family members to help ensure everything gets done, ask them to chip in.
Try to leave time to socialize. Your dad could be lonely and demanding more from you because he wants attention. Take time to sit down and watch his favorite show or movie. If he wants to have company while he walks to the mailbox, do that.
Your dad is pushy because he’s scared. He thinks he’s losing control of his independence. Make sure he knows that’s not the case. While he may need help, it’s only there to help him live independently. Assure him that any home care aides that come to the house will only do the things on the list he’s approved.
The caregiver won’t force him to do things that aren’t on the list. He won’t have a caregiver stopping him from watching his favorite show. Unless there’s a medical reason for a scheduled snack, a caregiver isn’t going to force him to eat something at 2 p.m. if he’s not hungry yet.
Home care services are essential if you cannot quit your job. A trained caregiver helps him when you’re working. It lightens your load without putting your dad at risk. Call a home care agency to discuss the services that will benefit your family.